Tag Archives: train

Perspective and comments from random strangers

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On Monday I headed out to the bush for my usual long run. Arriving at my start point, a campground at the local national park, just on sunrise. I was surprised to see just one camper set up, being a long weekend I had expected a full house, but I didn’t pay it much thought being more focused on warming up and heading off before it got too hot.

Beautiful morning for a run

Being my long run I hadn’t set myself an easy task. I am currently training to take part in The NorthFace 50km event in the Blue Mountains, so typically my long runs involve elevation and plenty of it. As well as about 800m of elevation (both down and then back up again) and 2/3 of the run being on awesome single track, what I didn’t know at the time, was that I was running on a sprained ankle.

Even the bridges are single track only

I love running in this particular forest. It is where I first started trail running. I kind of feel like I’ve grown with the forest a little. Each time I come back there are changes, creeks running that haven’t previously, huge trees across the path, fungi on particular steps.

Colourful fruits on the tracks

There are also familiar markers, the creek crossing before the steep ascent, the gnarled root at the top of a flight of stairs, the strangler fig that always catches the light in the most beautiful way, no matter what time of day. I have had beautiful runs here, I have had amazingly fast runs and I’ve also had runs where I have broken down and sobbed with only the trees to hear me. It is a space that is very dear to me.

A shaft of light that makes you stop and appreciate your surrounds

Monday’s run was what I think of as a good solid run. I wasn’t breaking any speed records but I was going nice and steady. I was doing a route I have done before but had changed it to first descend into the valley and then after some “undulations”, as my coach calls them, I would ascend back to the top of the mountain. This is because in TNF50 the second half of the race is all pretty much ascent.

About three quarters in it got tough, the ankle which I had, unbeknownst to me, sprained 5 days earlier began to hurt. I was also hitting the steepest part of my ascent and my heart rate was meaning I was hiking more than running (I am currently doing low heart rate training, something I will no doubt discuss in the future). Whenever I have to hike for prolonged periods head games start, so by the time I got to the top of the mountain it was hard both physically and mentally. I was feeling pretty down on myself as I ran into the clearing signalling the campground where I had started.

I looked up to see my truck and saw that the lone camper had woken and was watching me as I ran across the grass. I forced a smile and gave a hello. He shook his head, smiling and exclaimed “well isn’t that something?!?”. I laughed, a little wary, not sure what he meant and wandered over to the truck starting my warm down as he asked “so did you run all the way to the bottom and back up again?” I answered yes, but bit my tongue before the “slowly” bit came out, knowing he didn’t need or want to know. “Wow….. You must do this a lot then?” For some reason that question floored me for a moment. I answered yes, but in my mind he had struck a chord. He reiterated “that really is something” and we bantered some more about our reasons for being in the bush and the trails I’d just been on as I warmed down, then I said goodbye as I left, done for the day.

I think I forget sometimes that a lot of people don’t do this kind of stuff. Heading out into the bush, alone, for a 3hr run is astonishing to some people. I am surrounded by people who either do that sort of thing every week or who support me so unabashedly that it normalises it. Those words from that random dude, taken aback by this woman charging out of the bush after running down the mountain and then back up again made me feel like maybe I’m doing ok. I’m no Anna Frost, Rory Bosio or Deb Nicholl but I’m out there doing it and I whole heartedly love it.

As for the sprained ankle? Well, its given me some perspective as well and made me realise just what it is about running. It’s got nothing to do with how fast I go..

I love it here

But I’m Slow

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When you find out I’m a runner, chances are the next thing I’ll say is “but, I’m slow”.

This isn’t a trite response, it’s true, I really am slow. It’s something I grapple with at the end of almost every run.

Running has never been easy for me. Its a hard slog. In fact, I would go so far as to say I have never had a truly effortless run. My legs hurt, my calves burn, I breath heavy and sweat gets in my eyes. Thing is, I like it and put me on a trail and I am home. I don’t run because I have to, I run because I want to. Its one of the things that gets me out of bed in the morning. That makes me look forward to the coming weeks and months. That makes those bad days, when nothing goes right seem bearable. Unfortunately, I’m just not that fast.

In a world of instant uploading of data, sharing run stats, photos, pace, distance and elevation, within seconds of completing a run I can know what other runner friends next door, next state and next country are achieving.  This is both a blessing and a curse. I gain so much motivation from seeing the inspirational places and runs from the people I have connected with on social media such as Strava, Instagram and of course Facebook. On the flip side though, when everyone has been out doing 6 minute kilometres or doing 5km in under 25min, whilst you were lucky to do an average pace of 10 minutes a kilometre, it can be depressing and mess with your head a little. Of course those of us doing the slow runs aren’t about to post up our instagram pics with a caption of “10min/km awesome freaking run today”, but maybe we should.
Statistics are a funny thing. I love numbers, they make sense and being an emotional person, they can’t be coloured by how I’m feeling. Up until 6months ago every run I did was spent watching the pace on my watch and the voice in my head telling me how slow I was. Its tiring when you are constantly telling yourself you aren’t good enough and it can really take the fun out of something that you love. My husband could see the struggle I was having and he suggested I get a coach to guide me. One of the first things my coach, Matt from Judd Adventures told me was to stop worrying about my pace. It was made clear to me that being a strong runner was far more important for running long trail races. So, even though I’m slow I focus on the fact that I’m strong, so I have enough confidence to race.

I love races but at the same time they are one of the hardest things I do, physically and more so mentally. Put me on a trail in the middle of nowhere, with no-one for miles and I feel great. I have confidence in my abilites. I know I can go the distance. Put me in a race with a bunch of trail runners and I feel like an imposter. I go straight back to being the fat girl at high school, struggling up the hills, coming last. It’s hard, it hurts and mentally I take a bashing. When you run from the start and within minutes you are at the back of the pack you begin to wonder what you are doing there and why you bother. I bother because races allow me to travel and run places I’ve never been, with support from the race organisers and my fellow runners. I also love the atmosphere, the excitement, the extra push to do better and the awesome people who encourage you, smile as you chat to them going up a steep hill and who clap and cheer for you as you cross the finish. Being at the back of the pack is hard, I know because thats where I usually am, but it’s also an achievement in itself. To keep turning up, race after race and still be in the bottom 50%, takes strength and tenacity.

You see, I train for these events and I don’t mean the odd run on a saturday morning. I am out of bed before the sun six days a week, just so I can do my run or cross training before work or family commitments. I eat nourishing food, I go to bed early and yes, I even spend my hard earned cash on a coach. Because I love it. I love the run, I love the trails and I love pushing my body. I want to be faster, my coach assures me I will be faster, that I have to be patient. So for now, I’m slow.

Don’t let the fact that you aren’t the best stop you from doing what you love, what brings you joy. Take it as seriously as you want, be the athlete you want to be. I’m banking on the fact that my love, passion and hardwork will see me improve. I may never be “fast” but I reckon I will be faster.